I was on my way to class this morning and the sun was shining brightly through my car windows. I was suddenly struck by how awesome God is. Occasionally, and at very random times I get hit with a blast of God's coolness and it is overwhelming to say the least. As I was driving along the interstate, I noticed how green the trees and the grasses were. The sky was the perfect shade of blue. It was warm and sunny out and I was just praising God. There are things in this world that are so amazing that you just need to stop and take it in for a while. Looking at the beautiful day outside, I wonder how people can even question the existence of a creator. The Big Bang Theory is crazy. I have seen things go "bang" and the end result looks nothing like what I saw today! The theory that we crawled out of some primordial sludge...I have seen that under a microscope and believe me... it is not so pretty or creative. God it the ultimate creator and I would love to get a peek inside his imagination. He and I are not always on such happy terms. In fact, most of the time I am wondering where he is or if he even cares. But, then I have a day like today. A day where God shows me that he is always right here and that he does care. Most of the time, being the imperfect human being that I am, I want thing fixed RIGHT NOW! And God, being the ULTIMATE God that he is, knows better. Tomorrow I will be grumpy again, and have another problem that I want God to fix "right now" and will have completely forgotten my insights of today. But for now I am very happy to be basking in the glow of God's love.

Tribute to Mom

I realize this is a couple days late but I'm sure that nobody will really care. As Mother's Day passesd this year I found myself thinking about how truely blessed I am in the mom department. My mom is the best. We have been through so much together in the last 21 years. I don't know of anyone who would of stood by me through so much except my mom. She is so strong and such a good Christian woman. She has been such an anchor in my life. It makes me think about all those people out there who don't have mothers, or who have mothers that don't care. I feel so bad for those people. I don't know how I would have gotten this far without my mom. I love you MOM!!!

Lonely Day

Today was just another boring Saturday. As usual I spent the day alone in my room. A friend of mine was supposed to come over and hang out, but of course that didn't work out. So, I watched Gone with the Wind. It seems like I spend every weekend alone. For some reason I don't have any good friends to hang out with. I don't know why. My best friend from high school goes to a different college than I do and even though he still lives near by he never wants to hang out anymore. Most of the time I'm pretty lonely. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment. It makes me so mad when people say " you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself." I realize there are a lot of people in the world worse off than me. I feel bad for them too. I pray every night for God's guidance and support. For God to help me find some friends to hang out with once in a while. I have been praying the same prayer for years. Nothing seems to make any difference. Sometimes I feel like God couldn't care less. I try to find comfort in the Bible and in prayer, but I never really feel any better and I'm not sure what to do. I'm tired of being alone all the time. Even when I'm at school I feel really alone because I don't have any good friends. Maybe I'm just a freak and I'm not able to make friends. I just feel kind of lost. I'm not sure where to go or what to do from here.

Intro blog

Well this is my first official blog. I have to give some credit to Nate Gibbons. His blog inspired me to start blogging again. Thanks Nate! That was the one thing I missed when I switched from MySpace to Facebook...no blog. Sooo...I have decided 2 am is the best time to blog because all the thoughts of the day are so much more clear. Thoughts are so much easier to express in writing than out loud. The night air floating through the window is muggy and soothing. I still find myself having trouble getting to sleep though. This is only an intro blog so I'll keep it short and sweet. I may write another blog this evening though, on another topic.