Saturday, May 9, 2009
Today was just another boring Saturday. As usual I spent the day alone in my room. A friend of mine was supposed to come over and hang out, but of course that didn't work out. So, I watched Gone with the Wind. It seems like I spend every weekend alone. For some reason I don't have any good friends to hang out with. I don't know why. My best friend from high school goes to a different college than I do and even though he still lives near by he never wants to hang out anymore. Most of the time I'm pretty lonely. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment. It makes me so mad when people say " you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself." I realize there are a lot of people in the world worse off than me. I feel bad for them too. I pray every night for God's guidance and support. For God to help me find some friends to hang out with once in a while. I have been praying the same prayer for years. Nothing seems to make any difference. Sometimes I feel like God couldn't care less. I try to find comfort in the Bible and in prayer, but I never really feel any better and I'm not sure what to do. I'm tired of being alone all the time. Even when I'm at school I feel really alone because I don't have any good friends. Maybe I'm just a freak and I'm not able to make friends. I just feel kind of lost. I'm not sure where to go or what to do from here.