Saturday, May 9, 2009
Today was just another boring Saturday. As usual I spent the day alone in my room. A friend of mine was supposed to come over and hang out, but of course that didn't work out. So, I watched Gone with the Wind. It seems like I spend every weekend alone. For some reason I don't have any good friends to hang out with. I don't know why. My best friend from high school goes to a different college than I do and even though he still lives near by he never wants to hang out anymore. Most of the time I'm pretty lonely. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment. It makes me so mad when people say " you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself." I realize there are a lot of people in the world worse off than me. I feel bad for them too. I pray every night for God's guidance and support. For God to help me find some friends to hang out with once in a while. I have been praying the same prayer for years. Nothing seems to make any difference. Sometimes I feel like God couldn't care less. I try to find comfort in the Bible and in prayer, but I never really feel any better and I'm not sure what to do. I'm tired of being alone all the time. Even when I'm at school I feel really alone because I don't have any good friends. Maybe I'm just a freak and I'm not able to make friends. I just feel kind of lost. I'm not sure where to go or what to do from here.
Well this is my first official blog. I have to give some credit to Nate Gibbons. His blog inspired me to start blogging again. Thanks Nate! That was the one thing I missed when I switched from MySpace to Facebook...no blog. Sooo...I have decided 2 am is the best time to blog because all the thoughts of the day are so much more clear. Thoughts are so much easier to express in writing than out loud. The night air floating through the window is muggy and soothing. I still find myself having trouble getting to sleep though. This is only an intro blog so I'll keep it short and sweet. I may write another blog this evening though, on another topic.