Sunday, June 21, 2009

Thoughts spawned from a sleepless night

I didn't sleep at all, again. We leave for vacation in Gatlinberg in two days. Mom, Shayne and myself, as well as our friends Michele and her daughter Danielle. We leave on Tuesday and don't return until Saturday. Much fun is expected!

Uncle Roger found a nest of kittens under the hay combine last Saturday. Two of them were killed before he realized they were there, but the third one survived. It didn't even have its eyes open yet. He took it in to Grandma and she took care of it. As of today the kitten, a male dubbed Squish-Kitty, is doing fine and makes a lovely new addition to the family.

I have recently become obsessed with a George Strait song that until a week ago I didn't know existed. I'm not sure why. It doesn't have any meaning for my life whatsoever. But I continue to listen to it over and over again. I'm afraid the track may give out on me soon.

I miss my dad. He has to have an MRI on his shoulder on Monday. The Doc thinks he may have a torn rotater cuff or a ripped tendon. He is in a lot of pain all the time. Father's Day is always a hard day for me. I think it's a hard one for him too. No tears, Just emptiness where there shouldn't be.

I had to have a shot for poison ivy this week. I am also on extreme doses of steroids which make me grumpy. For some reason, all I have to do is look at poison ivy cross-eyed and I'll catch it. I can get it off the animals or other people's clothes, even from just standing to close to the stupid plant. In this particular case my brother was kind enough to share it with me. The butt! (my brother not the poison ivy) I also had an exceptional amount of blood drawn at the hospital on Tuesday. My Doc is trying to find out why my blood isn't clotting the way it should. *sigh*

On the brighter side, I passed all my classes this quarter and wasn't forced to drop anything due to Mono. I should have graduated this year! But due to my unfortunate 2 quarter battle with Mono, I am now stuck attending fall quarter yet again. Ugh!

I am grumpy! I just reread my blog. Oh Well, Cheerfulness is overrated. And excessive Cheerfulness is annoying.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Finals Freakout!!

Well it's that time once again. Finals!! I have a history final on Monday June 8th and Anthropology and Math finals on Tuesday June 9th. Then, Praise the Lawd, I'm done for the summer. But, until the last final is taken and I have turned it in, I will be in a constant state of freakout. I hate it. I try not to get to worked up over it, but I always end up totally stressed. I study as hard as I can and do everything I can to do well on my finals but it never feel like I have done enough. It drives me nuts. I won't sleep well until I'm done with my classes and I know my final grades. I wish I couls see the future and know what was gonna happen. Usually I don't care to know what is gonna happen next in my life, but when it comes to my academic career it would be so nice to know. Even if it was gonna be bad, at least I would know and I wouldn't have to worry about it for weeks. Yes, I realize I'm whining. Sometimes I just need to! Anyway, if you run into me in the next couple of days and I am grumpy and look like I haven't slept in six weeks...this is why.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Ask God: 10 Questions for the Ultimate Creator

All of my life I have ask my mother questions that she couldn't answer. It seems there are some questions that only God can answer. I have compiled a list of questions that have plagued my mind for ages. When I get to Heaven...these are the questions I am going to as God.

1.) Where did you come from?

I know that God created the world and that he has been around longer than any human being can comprehend. I also know that God created Jesus. So....where did God come from. The answer that he has just always been is incomprehensible to my human mind. When I ask God this question he either need to explain where he came from or help me to understand the real meaning of forever.

2.) Was there ever...or is there... in a Galaxy far far away, a world similar to ours?

The Bible says that God created the world. It also says he created the heavens. It says nothing however about any other planets containing life. But, the Bible was created as a guide for humans on this planet. that doesn't mean God couldn't have created another world somewhere else.

3.) Why create cats? Why not unicorns or mermaids? I mean come on...cats for crying out loud!

Unicorns are beautiful and mysterious. Mermaids are are similar to humans...except for the tail. What good are cats? They come into your house and take over! They quietly take over your entire life. They're cats. Their goal is world domination!

4.) Why couldn't we have direct contact with you so you could tell us what you want?

When we pray, it is so hard to wait for a sign about what we should do or for an answer. Why couldn't we hear your voice in our head. It would be so much easier to do what you wanted if we knew what it was.

5.) Why did/does life have to be so hard?

A pretty self explanatory question if you ask me.

6.) If there isn't life on other planets, then what are the UFOs people have been seeing for centuries?

I would like an exact explanation for this. It has always bugged me. Give me a visual please!
7.) What's the deal with Bigfoot and Lochness? Do they or Don't they?
If they exist, why can't we find them? Are they just the ultimate hide-and-seek champions or are they figments of the incredible human imagination?

8.) Why do bad things happen to good people? And why are nasty people allowed to get away with so much?
Again pretty self explanatory!

9.) Do you really hear every single tiny, little prayer of all the gazillions of prayers being prayed every minute?
If you do Kudos to you, but how do you do it?

10.) What was your favorite memory of my life?

Of all the things that happened in my life, of all the moments...what was your favorite?

So those are my questions! If you read this blog and think..."hey, I have questions to!" feel free to add them to my list in a comment. I would love to know what they are.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


The current time is 4:12 am. I am completely and utterly awake. So, after exhausting myself on Facebook I found myself on my blog. The Internet is a lifesaver when I can't sleep. OK... so the title of this blog is cats. And for good reason. The last few days have been catastrophic. My cat is an outside cat. Sometimes I don't see her for days, and sometimes I see her everyday. I hadn't seen her for almost a week and I was getting a little worried. Then Thursday afternoon, she showed up on the front porch with a paw the size of Rhode Island. Apparently she had gotten her foot caught in the mouth of something larger than her. (She has a tendency to over estimate her own size) I immediately took her out to my grandma's house, where first aid was applied.
Tallie (that's the cat's name) has been in the house now for three days while her paw heals. She has also been getting antibiotics to stem off infection. Now she has taken over the dog's bed in the living room. The dog (a boxer) is afraid of Tallie, so she cries because she has no place to lay down. When she isn't on the dog's bed, she is sleeping in the middle of the love seat so no one else can sit there. Something else you need to know about Tallie. She is bad. Not a little bad, she is really, really bad. She used to be an indoor/outdoor cat. She was banished to the outdoors because one day she crawled into my mother's bed (under the comforter) and peed all over the place. Her litter box was available and clean, but apparently my mother had done something Tallie disapproved of. Any time anyone left the bathroom door open, Tallie would pee or poop on the floor or the towels. Thus, she was banished. But whenever something is wrong with her, we come running to save her. I still love her. I don't know how, I don't know why. Now that Tallie is inside for a while, our inside cat is so jealous. Catundra, is running around the house, clawing at the furniture, and pouncing on unsuspecting pedestrians in the living room. I have scratches on my feet. When I go to bed, she claws at my bedroom door. If I let her in the bedroom, she claws up my carpet. Which leads me to the question.... Why do we have cats?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I was on my way to class this morning and the sun was shining brightly through my car windows. I was suddenly struck by how awesome God is. Occasionally, and at very random times I get hit with a blast of God's coolness and it is overwhelming to say the least. As I was driving along the interstate, I noticed how green the trees and the grasses were. The sky was the perfect shade of blue. It was warm and sunny out and I was just praising God. There are things in this world that are so amazing that you just need to stop and take it in for a while. Looking at the beautiful day outside, I wonder how people can even question the existence of a creator. The Big Bang Theory is crazy. I have seen things go "bang" and the end result looks nothing like what I saw today! The theory that we crawled out of some primordial sludge...I have seen that under a microscope and believe me... it is not so pretty or creative. God it the ultimate creator and I would love to get a peek inside his imagination. He and I are not always on such happy terms. In fact, most of the time I am wondering where he is or if he even cares. But, then I have a day like today. A day where God shows me that he is always right here and that he does care. Most of the time, being the imperfect human being that I am, I want thing fixed RIGHT NOW! And God, being the ULTIMATE God that he is, knows better. Tomorrow I will be grumpy again, and have another problem that I want God to fix "right now" and will have completely forgotten my insights of today. But for now I am very happy to be basking in the glow of God's love.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tribute to Mom

I realize this is a couple days late but I'm sure that nobody will really care. As Mother's Day passesd this year I found myself thinking about how truely blessed I am in the mom department. My mom is the best. We have been through so much together in the last 21 years. I don't know of anyone who would of stood by me through so much except my mom. She is so strong and such a good Christian woman. She has been such an anchor in my life. It makes me think about all those people out there who don't have mothers, or who have mothers that don't care. I feel so bad for those people. I don't know how I would have gotten this far without my mom. I love you MOM!!!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Lonely Day

Today was just another boring Saturday. As usual I spent the day alone in my room. A friend of mine was supposed to come over and hang out, but of course that didn't work out. So, I watched Gone with the Wind. It seems like I spend every weekend alone. For some reason I don't have any good friends to hang out with. I don't know why. My best friend from high school goes to a different college than I do and even though he still lives near by he never wants to hang out anymore. Most of the time I'm pretty lonely. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment. It makes me so mad when people say " you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself." I realize there are a lot of people in the world worse off than me. I feel bad for them too. I pray every night for God's guidance and support. For God to help me find some friends to hang out with once in a while. I have been praying the same prayer for years. Nothing seems to make any difference. Sometimes I feel like God couldn't care less. I try to find comfort in the Bible and in prayer, but I never really feel any better and I'm not sure what to do. I'm tired of being alone all the time. Even when I'm at school I feel really alone because I don't have any good friends. Maybe I'm just a freak and I'm not able to make friends. I just feel kind of lost. I'm not sure where to go or what to do from here.

Intro blog

Well this is my first official blog. I have to give some credit to Nate Gibbons. His blog inspired me to start blogging again. Thanks Nate! That was the one thing I missed when I switched from MySpace to blog. Sooo...I have decided 2 am is the best time to blog because all the thoughts of the day are so much more clear. Thoughts are so much easier to express in writing than out loud. The night air floating through the window is muggy and soothing. I still find myself having trouble getting to sleep though. This is only an intro blog so I'll keep it short and sweet. I may write another blog this evening though, on another topic.